LETTER TO THOSE WHO: Life Has Been On Pause

I remember thinking back when I was in a really bad place, feeling as if there was nothing to live for. My whole being was wrapped around, just passing through and breathing.

I wasted time. I wasted opportunities because I felt stuck. I felt like nothing I did would change where I am or how I feel, so I just added gum to my feet.

I know many see persons like me as the cheerful one or the life of the party, but there was a season where all I saw and felt… was darkness. My dreams we’re an escape. They were the only things I could control. I could control who my parents were, who I married, the name of my dog and what I had for breakfast. This may seem so random, but sometimes these are the very things that we resent in our lives you know? Not enough milk at home or the most over-protective parents.

I call this a pause in our life. A time where nothing mattered and nothing big or serious was happening. I say pause because we can press play again. We can rewind and skip. We can continue that which God planned for us by stepping into it. And yes, many people checked up on me, some ignored, some worked around it, some fed or fueled it and others just disregarded me. But there was a decision that I had to make. I had to decide that this was no longer going to be my life or my end. This was not the way that I was going to die, not on pause at least.

I’m about to shake up all those who are comfortable in their situation and I’m not going to be sweet today so let’s forget about that for a minute. These cycles and self created traps end today!!!

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Many of us think that our past hurts and mistreatment is an excuse for how are. Some of us take our life experiences and use it as a right to explain why we are how we are; our toxic personality traits. You might block me right now but you need to stop doing that. You need to stop allowing your past to poison your future. Why are you allowing, in the name of self harm, your past to really dictate your future?

I know, this is not even situation specific but you need to let it go. There is hurt in life and there is heartache but you are throwing your life away. Someone stole something from you and that was your innocence, your peace and maybe even your joy, but I really do not think that you should allow them to take the WHOLE BAG!!! Let them take your phone or your credit cards but don’t them take that account. Don’t stop grinding in the name of I was scammed. (Just analogy guys). You are allowing it to happen every single day after that? No. You were the victim but you are about to allow it to mentally continue?

I know some of us have experiences in which we cannot even utter a word about, but you have to decide darling that even though it happened, it will not mentally cap your capacity. You are breaking the ruler to your possibility (change for things to change and the extent to which you can be better) every day when you do. Yess we know it is not easy and this sounds so “perfect life and I’m alright” but it is not about that. It is about you freeing yourself. You need to let it go.

You holding onto a barbed wire in the name of I have to? You are holding on to people that very well didn’t know any better and you say this is because they did? They did. We get that. But what are you about to do? Because they played a chess piece, it’s your turn and you’re allowing them to take your pawns and get access to your king and check you. CHECK YOU!! You should not allow them to be able to mentally check you every day.

For some this is a reality but imagine if the one that hurt you physically came into your room daily to wake you up and show you the mirror and say things to you? That is TORTURE. That is not healthy. And you say you have a right to wear that depression on your sleeve? You are mentally trapping yourself.

Don’t think like this. You are lying to yourself. You are daily contaminating yourself with the idea that you cannot. You can. You can. You can. You can.

People hurt you and left. Some of them died with that apology. So because of that you aren’t going to go back to school? You going to reject the man or woman that God has for you because the one that hurt you did you bad? YOU DESERVE LOVE.

I don’t care if people done wrote you off!!!!! GIVE YOURSELF THAT SECOND CHANCE. God is so patient with us. He needs you to know that yes they did wrong by you but you need to do right by you. When I say by you I don’t even mean you. Let me explain.

In the wordings of Tyler Perry, you are a bridge. And when I say bridge I mean this… there are so many people that you need to help cross. I was in a conversation yesterday with a friend and an important thing that we spoke about was that what you experience is bad and you endured it or are about to, but it almost never is about you. Outside of those decisions that you made to put yourself in that position, sometimes we experience things because of those who will need someone to help them out. Tell them how to endure or give them strategies to adequately cross their struggles and their issues. So it really not even is about you. It is about you helping someone else. So when you think about making yourself the victim for the rest of you life, think about the line of people that were waiting on you to take the freedom train that passes every morning and watches you walk on the gravel of depression, death and heaviness.

And if we want to be technical, let us think about the persons connected to all of those individuals. I just want you to know that one of those persons experiencing a breakthrough may save your child. I’m telling you. God makes no mistake. So you endure now. You work hard now. Change the lives of others tomorrow and watch God do that for you children. Do notttttttttt stay here. You cannot and should not be the same place you were last year or yesterday.

I’m done. (No cap this is how my dad ends his sermons. I-).

After completing this post, I realised that this post really is a follow up for a previous blog that I did and so I’ll just add it here for those that missed it. Be blessed.

~🇯🇲 The CreatOR creatED a creatIVE – Queen Ruthie 🇯🇲~