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I have shared on this blog that I struggled with my insecurities for years. One of the hardest things is no longer defining yourself by them. For years, insecurity was my best friend, my safety blanket and any day that its influence was stronger than what God sees me as, I allowed my insecurities to be at the head of the table in my decision-making. Now I couldn’t complain, I allowed insecurity at the table right?
I missed a lot of gatherings just because I was having a bad breakout and I knew that someone was going to remind me about it. I missed casual events because I knew that the waiter might have difficulty focusing on the words coming out of my mouth because of the distraction. I even saved my best outfits for the perfect occasions that never came because there was a high possibility that I didn’t feel the best and I thought the outfit would draw too much attention. No, because I had some great outfits I could have worn in the sixth grade, but when I got confident enough, I was in the eighth grade…
What I love the most about Dear Insecurity is that after a chapter, you “coach yourself” and really reflect not only on what you have just learnt, or been exposed to, you get to put yourself in those pages. What you have experienced (like being scorned by your classmates or being the punchline to every other joke) is now being forced to change who you are after the process begins. I didn’t want to say “at the end of this book” because one of the most valuable things about a piece like this is that it doesn’t end when you reach page 172; that is when the work really begins.
I loved how real Crystal was with her experiences, with her own insecurities and her experiences at the different stages in her life. Let me tell you, there was a moment when I said, “Wow, Crystal, I’d honestly pull a Mariah Carey and not know who or what you’re talking about because the girl in these pages are too much like me but seeing it on paper is making me feel like entering a class late in the middle of a lecture.” That is powerful my friend.
“Forgiveness is choosing to let go of thoughts of revenge and releasing any resentment you may have toward someone you felt has hurt you.”
(p. 25)
Most of my friends often talk about how detailed my note taking is and the effort in dissecting pieces of work, and there is a possibility that they aren’t exaggerating. I knew that at the end of reading, I would have to share the parts that stuck out to me and it had to be highlighted in yellow (I use yellow because a study told me you are more likely to retain that information). I’d say the hook for me was being challenged to be active. Going out there to implement change. I always wanted to do some great things, but because insecurity was my safe prison, I never did. Something that I also struggled with was forgiveness, and that may have been the best chapter for me in this book, along with Accepting Your Identity, and imagine, sis started with that chapter. No chill! Lol.
I’d honestly pull a Mariah Carey and not know who or what you’re talking about because the girl in these pages are too much like me but seeing it on paper is making me feel like entering a class late in the middle of a lecture.
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I had to note those parts of me that contributed to the problem, no matter how much denial I was in about how wrong the other person was. One thing that I learnt from this experience is that I am not doing this again. I won’t allow insecurity to dictate where I go. I am now being accountable and “Becoming the Woman God Has Called [Me] To Be.”
“If you stop looking at who you are and start believing who God has called you to be, then you can accomplish all the dreams He has placed in your heart.”
(p. 13).
I knew that after this experience, I could reread this book and use those practical steps for my purpose, being passionate, and “Journal the Vision.” I no longer was allowing self-doubt and imposter syndrome traits to be my driver. Alexa play, “Jesus Take The Wheel.”
[This is the part where you read this in the tone of your mentor, mother or anybody that can say the right words to whip you into shape, like your trainer]. This book will make you uncomfortable and that’s okay because it’s about time you tell insecurity BYE. It’s the year that you actually get fed up with being mediocre. Are you not tired of people telling you how much potential you have? You know that not doing the very thing that is natural to you is not humility? Time for you to suck it up man. Be real with yourself, don’t let insecurity be your excuse anymore. You know you want to do more, you know you really care about media, or writing, sports, entertainment, comedy or [fill in the blanks because there are so many other things you care about]. I don’t know about you, but I regret those years that I wasn’t living in the moment at my prom and only cared about how others looked at me. Or all those group pictures that I dodged because I felt like I didn’t look photographic, or Instagram ready.
Since the pandemic, a sore spot for me was my relationships. I hibernated. I disappeared, and I just wanted to isolate myself socially and emotionally. When I got to the chapter about “Mak[ing] Relationships A Priority”, my one day read became “I’ll address this in the morning.” I could not face some of these things head on. I knew I needed to get in contact with some old friends and family members, but I was doing the crip walk like Snoop at the Super Bowl. My friends can tell you about those random moments I sent text and voice messages about how happy I am that they exist. Or those moments I was in tears reading these pages because I knew that I no longer could be the same. I had to say “insecurity, bye”, and “purpose, hello”, I was all in. I no longer had a safety blanket. I was exposed. Now how was I to know that God knew me like that and told someone to write about it in a book? I must’ve missed that plot.
So Crystal Daye is an International Certified Christian Life Coach, Corporate Trainer, Host of the Diary Of A Jesus Girl Podcast, kingdom influencer, COO of DayeLight Publishers and mother.
After reading, I wanted to know what she wanted every reader to take away from the book and sis said, “I want to empower women of faith to overcome self doubt regarding their gifts and calling and boldly walk in obedience to God to impact lives with their gifts and message. Say BYE to imposter syndrome, fear and procrastination, and be confident to go after their dreams.”
Now it doesn’t end here. I made a Spotify playlist for this book and I’ll be updating it as often as I can. I introduced you to this journey because if we want to go far, we should take a friend along. If you already read Dear Insecurity, share what you learnt, what has changed and hit up Crystal on social media to thank her for what great work she is doing.
Ruth Writes Co Blog 
Sounds like a very powerful book! I’m grateful God anointed people to write. Thank you!
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You’re most welcome. I really enjoyed it too.
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Sounds like a great book.. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you so much.
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